5 love languages of children - physical touch

Is your child’s primary love language physical touch?  For children who understand this love language, physical touch will communicate more deeply than telling them “I love you”, fixing a bicycle, buying them a present, or spending time with them.  Of course, they still receive love in all the languages, but for them the one with the clearest and loudest voice is physical touch.  Without hugs, kisses, pats on the back, and other physical expressions of love, their love tanks will remain less than full. Physical touch is the easiest love language to use unconditionally, because parents don’t need an excuse to touch their child.  Think about it, even when we are busy we can still touch their arm, back, rub their head, or touch their shoulder.  My favorite is leaping off the footboard of their beds and bouncing on top of them.  On the other side of that, when you refuse physical touch it makes your child with this love language feel rejected and unloved.

My youngest, Madison, is a kindergartener, and her primary love language is physical touch.  Just this last weekend we went on a scooter ride to a pond to try and catch some frogs.  After 30 minutes of not catching a thing (I think the frogs still think it is winter) we headed back.  Madison informed me that she was tired and wanted me to carry her, so I tossed her on my shoulders and she played with my face and head the entire way back.  In fact at one time she was trying to fold my eyelids in half.  She wanted physical touch, and if she had it her way every day would be a shoulder ride tickle fest.

Each of us know that as they get older, the type of physical touch that they need changes. Boys especially can go through a time where they resist physical touch.  They suggest that you resist the urge to back off and give them the physical touch they need, however hugging and kissing them in front of their friends is not a great idea.  Instead you could wrestle, play a sport, sneak a pat on the back, or foot wrestle.   The book (The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell) does give some really good examples of what physical touch looks like through the years for both boys and girls here are just a couple of examples:

Infants and toddlers:  hugs and kisses, piggy back rides, and other playful touches, reading a book in your lap.

School age child:  hugs before and after school, wrestling, high fives, bear hugs, and sports.

Approaching adolescence and Teenager:  I would suggest reading this part.  However, they suggest that the more they feel loved at home, the healthier their relationships are with their parents; they will be better equipped to deal with the negative peer pressure that comes with growing up.

So this week, if you haven’t done so already, take the quiz on each of your children and find out what their primary language is.  After that start taking language lessons!

Other resources; 5 love languages of children study guide and the 5 love languages of children profile

Article by Jeff Neeley