I don't really remember a time when I wasnt saved. I only vaguely remember praying the prayer at Awana when I was very little. That doesn't mean I was growing in my faith or producing the fruit that I should have been. I suffered from depression for most of my life. While I never blamed God, I also wasn't submitting to His will. Everything was always a struggle and eventually the pressure broke me. I learned I had to rely on God for everything. The days that I pray and read my Bible are the ones worth living.