Chuck Norris

After the message about David's Mighty Men - 2 Samuel 23 - and the profound parallels between Benaiah and Chuck Norris, I have had some great emails, facebooks and other references to the nearly infinite powers of Chuck Norris. Here are some of my favorites:

* Chuck Norris can divide by zero
* If you are playing scrabble and you spell Chuck Norris, you automatically win...forever
* Chuck Norris does not wear a watch. HE decides what time it is!
* Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
* Outer space exists because it is afraid of Chuck Norris
* Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That is why there are no signs of life there.
* Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas
* Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table of the elements because he only recognizes the element of surprise!

And in case you missed the sermon:
* When Chuck Norris does pushups, hes not pushing his body up, he's pushing the earth down
* When the boogeyman goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
* Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make him drink
* Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Oh, and just for fun. Go to Google. Type "Find Chuck Norris" and click "I'm feeling Lucky." You'll crack up!