"If we let God make us authentic humans--not sub-cultural Christians, but affirming, vulnerable, open people who penetrate the world and love it as deeply as Jesus did--then the presence of God will be overwhelmingly felt by the world."
~Becky Pippert

A few people have asked me, or emailed about the 'practical list' of things a husband can do to love his wife and a wife can do to respect her husband from last week's message "Designer Genes". So, it is listed below. Be sure to be around for the next four weeks as we set marriages on fire!

Guys, Here's your part:

Here is the deal: your wife needs not merely to be loved, but to feel loved. One woman complained to her husband "You never say you love me!" He responded "The day we got married I told you I love you and if I ever change my mind I'll let you know."

Truth about women is that they need to 'hear' I LOVE YOU all the time in repeated and varied ways. They yearn for it and never get tired. I am going to give you some ideas of what you can do this week to accelerate her love quotient to maximum levels. Experiment with some of these and you'll see a different lady by the end of your experiment.

First, you need to know that your wife wants to feel close to you. For women, it is not good enough to just physically share the same space. They need a sense of connection. Here are some ways that that happens.

• Hold her hand*


• Show some affection... without expecting a roll in the hay


• Get a few minutes alone with her every day and just talk - no TV, no kids, no guests


• Plan a date...do something unexpected when you are with her


• Tell her about your day and the challenges you're are facing


• Take her for a walk and reminisce about some good memories from dating or early marriage


• When she talks about problems she is facing, just listen and repeat back what you heard her say... try not to give advice to 'fix' her, but ask another question to 'understand her'


• Try to put a name to her feelings when she tells you stories "That sounds distressing" "That must have hurt"


• Cut her some slack during her least favorite time of the month* Pray with her - let your deepest desires before God show in front of her

In addition to her need for closeness, she needs to know of your loyalty...that 'she's the only one for you.' She will fly high under the security of your undying love for her and esteem of her. Here's a few more practical ideas...

• Always speak highly of her in front of others


• Be involved in things that are important to her - especially if it is in regards to your children* Don't be scoping out other women


• Tell the kids "don't speak to your mother that way!"


• Let her know about your plans...especially if there are changes


• Notice things that change about her physical appearance - new haircuts and clothes are key moments to pay attention.


• Praise her accomplishments with sincerity and enthusiasm


• Tell her she is the most important person in your life...and back it up with your priorities

Ladies, here's your stuff:

Here is a secret you can take to the bank. Showing respect for your husband is like rocket fuel in his emotional tanker...just like love fills your soul to the top, respect fans his flame. A man's natural response to receiving respect is to ...get this... to serve! Really...when he is in an environment where he is valued and his contribution is valued, his natural instinct is to contribute MORE!

Try this as a test someday. Write down a list of the things you really respect about your husband. For some of you this will be easy, but for others it might take some time. But do it. It may be "I respect the fact that you get up every day and work hard to provide for our family." It may be "I respect the way you make decisions about repairing our cars." Or, I respect the skills you have in fixing the plumbing." There are a ton of possibilities.
Then, one day, just drop it on him. Not the list...just say "you know, I was thinking about some things that I really respect about you today." Then casually excuse yourself because you have something to do. He'll likely jump out of his chair to find what those things are! Let him know a few things and watch how he responds.

You might think of other ways to do it...a voicemail, a note, a face-to-face conversation, an email...but whatever you do be sure to regularly and enthusiastically show respect.
Here are some other great ways to demonstrate that you respect him:

• Learn from him


• Support him in things he is leading


• Praise his good decisions


• Thank him for his advice


• Give him kudos for accomplishing athletic, or exercise goals


• Initiate some bedtime activity, telling him how irresistible he is to you


• Act with gratitude for his income
  

My heart was just about to leap out of my chest at 8:55 this morning. I was standing at the middle of the 'cafeteria' at Lewis and Clark Middle School in Sarpy county. The room had been utterly transformed. The white floors were carpeted, brown drapes hung around the formerly sterile brick walls. The stage came out in four foot stair steps out into the room. Band equipment decorated the stage, a monster video screen was in the front of the room. Round tables with 200 purple chairs were all around the 27 tables, tastefully decorated with tan table cloths, and beautiful vases.

But the real buzz in the room was the people. People who were lost. People who were saved. People who were broken and people who had been redeemed. When I saw the people, my soul began to do jumping jacks.

For 18 months, we have prayed, planned, given, hired, trained, built teams and designed stuff. Now, the day was finally here. Sarpy was open.

Dozens of people from the community poured in...then more and more. After the music began, more people trickled into the back. The worship was well led and people engaged. Conversations around tables were lively as people met new friends for the first time.

Watching the people, I could not help but feel like we, as a church, had given birth. Not to a scrawny, underdeveloped four pounder, but to a strapping ten pound baby boy. Before the morning was done, 353 people attended the services. Not bad for a bad-weather, cold-and-flu, holiday weekend.

CCC Sarpy is born, thanks to Steve Walters, 4 other staff, 4 elders, tons of volunteers, lots of service, not a little money, and a bunch of love. But most important, thanks to God for bringing this vision to life! With the birth of Sarpy, the DNA of CCC changes a little bit. Our hearts grow as we reach and stretch. Our capacity for reaching people moves to the next level.

We now have seven services meeting in four venues and two locations on a Sunday morning. And with the 'multisite mentality', there is no limit to the impact that God can have through us in Omaha and beyond!

In the next three months, be sure to visit Lewis and Clark Middle School at least once...see what God is doing...see if your soul does jumping jacks too...